A little wiser? well definitely not any less charming ;)

Varanasi, India Saturday December 10, 2005

Someone once told me a long time ago that a woman starts losing her charm after she turns 27. Granted i've only been 27 for a few hours now but I don't think i'm any more or less charming than when i was at 26.

Exactly 27 years ago I was born in Varodara, India....this is the first birthday in 27 years that i am celebrating here. 27 is a strange year, not quite 30 but definitely not 25 anymore.... actually i think its because of that 'losing your charm' comment i heard so long ago that secretly 27 scared me more than 30 ever will.... there was this checklist of things that had to happen or I just couldn't hold my head up in society.

It depends on how you look at it... on the one hand I'm unemployed, not married, (here is the brunt of the charming problem), even more disheartening to some is that there is definitely no guarantee that he'll be indian. There's no MBA or PHD or any other 3 letter combo at the end of my name to justify why i'm still not settled down, just a passport full of stamps in my pocket.

I'd rather look at it a little differently... I've got a passport full of stamps from all over the world, a head full of wonderful memories and experiences from places which most 67 year olds let alone 27 year olds haven't seen yet, the lack of responsibility that having a mortgage, a marriage etc comes with so that I have the freedom (this is the scary part) to try something new. I'm not worried about owning a home or being married, all that will come in time i'm sure of it. This outlook is not the one most people in my family or the indian community would have but I think deep down inside they've always known that this browngirl was a little different.

Of course I'm scared as sh*t of doing things my way, 3 more months and its time to start puting my words into action. What I'm even more scared of is giving up, falling back into the way things were because it wasn't all that bad, and because it would just be easier. But i'm counting on a some of you folks out there (you know who you are) to smack me around a bit if you see me falter.

I'm okay with being 27 and tossing that checklist into the rubbish bin. Life's pretty damn good, I've got family that love me, friends who truly know me and a passport with a few blank pages still left

Alright I just reread this and its all a bit personal and a bit too serious, but im going to go ahead and publish this post before i become chicken sh*t and delete it

Happy Birthday to Me...May my charm never dwindle